First-person testimony

Chinna Kistna Rajasaheb Bahadur

First-person statement: "I look upon Sri Sai Baba as the Creator, Preserver and Destroyer. I did so before his Mahasamadhi in 1918 and I do so now. To me, he is not gone. He is, even now."

How Sai found him — the triple vision (1910)

Chinna Kistna had practised Asana and Pranayama from boyhood without a Guru — meditating intensely on Vishnu Narayana from a "Dhruva-Narayana" picture (cutting out the Dhruva figure to leave a blank where Vishnu should "place" him). In 1910, at age 21, three visions came in one night:

1. Out-of-body separation. Lying on his bed, he perceived his body lying separate, himself disengaged. Vishnu Narayana stood before him.
2. The directive. An hour later, again separated. Vishnu stood before him with another figure beside. Vishnu pointed: "This Sai Baba of Shirdi is your man; you must resort to him."
3. The arrival. He was carried by levitation to a village; asked the village name (Shirdi); was led to the mosque. Sai Baba was seated with legs outstretched. He placed his head on Baba's feet. Baba rose: "Do you take my darshan? I am your debtor; I must take your darshan." Baba placed his head on Chinna Kistna's feet.

Before that night Chinna Kistna had seen only one Baba picture and did not know Baba often sat with legs outstretched. He set out to verify the visions.

The first masjid visit — "Do you worship a man?"

At the masjid, with others present, Chinna Kistna prostrated. Baba said: "What! Do you worship a man?" He retreated, mortified. His scholastic notion against worshipping any human had been sacrificed; yet Baba seemed to reject him. He sat for hours.

In the afternoon Baba was alone on the masjid floor. People avoided that hour, believing intrusion brought penalty. But Chinna Kistna's hope was already blasted — what more was there to fear? He went nearer. Baba gently beckoned him to approach, hugged him, sat him close, and explained: "You are my child. When others — strangers — are in the company, we keep the children off."

Lodging at Ayi's; the Sai-name Japa

Baba sent him to lodge with Radhakrishna Ayi. From that day, every Shirdi visit, Ayi's was his residence. She received a daily roti from Baba as prasad — the only food she lived on. When Baba sent an additional roti, it indicated Chinna Kistna was en route.

Once Ayi and Chinna Kistna agreed Japa was their proper sadhana. He proposed using "Vittal" since Ayi had said "Sai" was hers. She replied she had not seen Vittal; what was good for Ayi was good for him; he too would chant Sai. They sat facing each other in silent Japa for about an hour. Later Baba sent for Chinna Kistna and asked what he had done that morning. "Japa." — "Of what name?" — "Of my God." — "What is your God?" — "You know it." Baba smiled: "That is right."

"All these are yours" — the garland-bundle (Guru-Pournima 1912)

Going up to Shirdi on a festival day in 1912 (probably Guru-Pournima), Chinna Kistna saw devotees at Manmad with grand baskets of flower garlands. He was pained he had brought none. At the masjid Baba was buried under garlands. Baba lifted a bundle in his hand:

"All these are yours."

The Rs. 100 Dakshina drill (1912)

Chinna Kistna had Rs. 100 in pocket. Baba asked Rs. 40; he gave it. Rs. 40 more; given. Rs. 20; given. He was left without a pie. Then Baba sent for him again and asked for Dakshina. He said he had nothing. Baba: "Go and get money from some others." Chinna Kistna agreed but asked whom to approach. Baba: "Go to Shama."

Shama's reply: "Does Baba care a rap for your rupees? What he wants is your mind and heart, your time and soul to be devoted to him." Chinna Kistna reported back. Baba smiled: "Go to Dixit." Dixit's reply: this was a lesson against esteeming oneself above begging. Then Baba: "Go to Nanasaheb Chandorkar for a loan." Nanasaheb explained his method: he started each Shirdi trip with double the cash, leaving half at Kopergaon as reserve.

The lesson — for Chinna Kistna, Nanasaheb, and all — was that none could claim to be the Providence supplying Baba's needs. Baba cared nothing for money; what he wanted was love.

The lace-embroidered muslin (Rama-Navami ~1915)

Going for Rama-Navami around 1915, Chinna Kistna bought a Chander-produced lace-embroidered Dacca-type muslin (5 feet square, 8-9 inch border) at the Indore cloth bazar for Rs. 85. He folded it to a 6"×6"×1" packet, took it inside his shirt to Shirdi.

The custom was that devotees presented cloth which Baba returned blessed. Chinna Kistna wanted Baba to keep his, as a sign of non-difference. When he bowed, he slyly shoved the packet under Baba's mattress. When everyone's cloth had been returned, Baba said: "Clear off all that lies on the gadi and dust it." The mattress was lifted; the packet appeared. Baba: "Hallo, what is this? Muslin! I am not going to return this. This is mine." He put it round his body: "Don't I look nice in this?"

The key of the treasury

About the same year, Baba sent for Chinna Kistna in the afternoon and, alone, embraced him: "The key of my treasury is now placed in your hands. Ask anything you want — Rs. 5 or Rs. 100 a month, or what you like — and I will give it to you."

Chinna Kistna sensed a test and declined to ask. Baba held him by the chin and coaxed. He then asked: "Is it agreed that you will grant anything I ask?" — "Yes." — "Then Baba, in this and in any future birth that may befall on me, you should never part from me. You should always be with me." Baba patted him: "Yes. I shall be with you, inside you, and outside you, whatever you may be or do."

Choosing the Guru over the child

Many years later Chinna Kistna lost a child in a building of many occupants. His wife wept. He consoled her: Baba did only what was good. He took the corpse on his lap so she could rest. Then Baba appeared:

"Do you want me or the dead child? Choose. You cannot have both. If you want me to revive the child, I will; but then you will have me no more with you. If you do not want revival you will have many children in due course."

Chinna Kistna had no hesitation. He chose Baba. Baba: "Then do not grieve." And vanished.

"This Rohilla" — the only failure of tolerance

About 1916 two Rohillas came to Shirdi. The elder read the Koran at Baba's feet by night, declared Baba was Paygambar (God), but objected that Baba allowed noon Arati with music in the mosque, allowed himself worshipped as God, and partook of food offered to idols — heterodoxy.

The Rohilla declared he would make short work of Baba's doctrine. One day as Baba walked, the Rohilla approached from behind with a stout club. Baba turned, touched his left wrist, cast a glance — and the Rohilla cowered, sank like lead, powerless to lift his club or himself. He had to be raised by others; days later he left Shirdi forever.

Hindu intolerance Baba similarly discountenanced. The Sadhu-form of Baba's interventions to Chinna Kistna passed through the years in three modes: (1) inspiration when awake; (2) dream-vision with personal appearance; (3) direction to a third person who unknowingly gives the right answer.

The Dakshineswar Ramlal episode

Eight years before the 1936 statement, Chinna Kistna went to Dakshineswar. A guide showed him a huge image as "Ramlal" — but Chinna Kistna knew from Paramahamsa's life that Ramlal was a tiny image. Just then a temple Pujari approached, asked if he was from Deccan, insisted on showing him around. The Pujari had been instructed in a dream the previous night that a Deccan devotee would come. He took Chinna Kistna into the Garbhagriha of Kali; produced the tiny Ramlal image that Paramahamsa had played with; placed it on Chinna Kistna's lap.

Chinna Kistna's gloss: "all through the grace of Sai who is no other than Ramakrishna."

Verbatim Sai Baba quotes from this statement

1. First-vision welcome at the mosque
2. Do you take my darshan? I am your debtor, I must take your darshan.
3. What! Do you worship a man?
4. You are my child. When others — strangers — are in the company, we keep the children off.
5. (On Japa) That is right.
6. (Lifting a garland-bundle) All these are yours.
7. (With the muslin) Hallo, what is this? Muslin! I am not going to return this. This is mine. Don't I look nice in this?
8. The key of my treasury is now placed in your hands. Ask anything you want.
9. Yes. I shall be with you, inside you, and outside you, whatever you may be or do.
10. Do you want me or the dead child? Choose. You cannot have both.